Choosing Your Wedding Party
5 Tips To Consider
Guest Blogger Dane Kolbaba
You’re engaged! Congratulations! Now it’s time to plan your big day but who is going to be part of that planning process? Brides and Grooms always have a hard time narrowing down their list of attendants but don’t stress! Here are a few tips to choosing your wedding party.
Think Before You Ask
• Sometimes the first reaction is to ask all your best friends and family to be in your wedding party. This is something you should really think through because once you have asked someone to be party of your big day, you can’t really UN ask them. A key to deciding which of your friends to ask is looking at not who your current group of friends are but who will be there years from now. Maybe you just met someone recently who you’ve become close to and think, I have to ask this person to stand up in my wedding, but that’s not necessarily the case. Do you see this person in your life in the future? Narrow down this list by going through each of your friends. Take your time and talk it over with your fiancé. Find out from him how many close friends he would like to stand up so you both have an idea on how many people to invite.
How Big Is Your Wedding
• If you are having an intimate get together with just close family and friends, having 20 people in the wedding party may not make sense. In this case it may be best just to have one or two like your sister or your soon to be sister in law or your best friend from childhood. If there are more people you want to include and feel like they should be part of the wedding, find small roles for them like a reading at the church or being an usher.
Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor
• You may have some really close friends and it’s hard to choose who will take on the role of Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor. Really take a look at what roles your attendants will be doing. Some people are just better at organizing things than others and some are better at planning a party. Maybe your sister is extremely disorganized but your Type A friend would have everything in order. In this case, maybe your friend would be better for the role of Maid/Matron of Honor because the responsibilities would better suit her personality.
Don’t Ask Someone Just Because They Asked You
• This is one most people have an issue with but it is not necessary to ask someone to be in your wedding just because you were in theirs. If you stood up in a wedding years ago and don’t speak to this person as often as you did, don’t feel obligated to have them stand up in your wedding. If you think this can get a little uncomfortable, speak to the person and be honest. If you aren’t as close as you were then they should understand.
Kids Are Not a Requirement
• It is not necessary to have a ring bearer or flower girls even if your nieces are begging for it and your sister is already looking for dresses. You can choose to eliminate this all together and choose to not have any kids have any roles in the wedding. However, if you really want to include children in your wedding and you are having trouble deciding between the 25 cousins, nieces and nephews or others you are close to, you can always have multiple roles. Five flower girls, 2 ring bearers or mini attendants who hand out fans or pamphlets. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing though. Sit down with your fiancé and think about the size of your wedding and how each would fit. Maybe it will only be your sister’s two kids and no one else.
Sometimes you are really close to someone and they just aren’t wedding party ready. Maybe they don’t approve of the groom or are habitually late to everything or live in another state and can’t be part of any planning, DIY projects or dress shopping. It’s ok to NOT ask them to be in your wedding. Always be honest and be realistic in your expectations. Being part of a wedding party has responsibilities and choosing the right attendants will make all the planning just that much easier!
The author, Dane Kolbaba, is an owner at Chicago Party Bus, a luxury transportation company located in Chicago, Illinois. While specializing in weddings and other special life events, Chicago Party Bus has lots of experience working with brides and grooms, wedding planners, DJ’s, officiants and other party vendors. They have become a trusted source for anything wedding related.